A little over a year ago we caught an 11 foot alligator in the lake at the apartment complex that I manage. It took the entire staff and 3 trappers to coax the gator onto the shoreline. Once he was hooked, the trappers worked quickly to secure his arms and tie up the 800lbs beast. With his arms tied, the perfectly evolved killing machine was neutralized. Observing the massive beast, it was a moment that I realize how perfect a creation this animal was, and how God is perfect in his design. Although his body and jaws were powerful, his arms were short and stubby, not strong enough to escape his captors. I felt guilty that we caught him. He was one of God’s first creations and has survived thousands of years without mankind’s hand. Yes, we were interrupting the natural order that God had put into place. The irony was that once he was caught, he struggled no more. His fate was sealed and he waited helplessly like a prisoner on death row waiting for the slow drip to start.
As our normal visit to the doctor’s office began, Mandi and I figured we would get a date for her to be induced. At almost 41 weeks, we figured Kaia was not in any rush to get here. As our mid-wife Donna inspected Mandi, she found she was only 3cm dilated. She asked Mandi if she would like her to strip her membrane? Mandi Agreed and began to brace for the pain. As Donna began to rupture the muscles bracing her cervix, Mandi’s grip on my hand began to tighten. The grimace on her face was a precursor for the days events. In 10 seconds, Donna was done and Mandi was getting dressed.
As I walked out of the room ahead of Mandi, I heard, “ I think my water just broke!”
“Huh….?” I said
With tears of joy and anxiety in her eyes, she said again “I really think my water just broke”
They quickly rushed her back into the room for further examination. Sure enough, a little tickle of the membrane started the flow. September 10th was to be our day as we were on our way to the hospital, but not without making a couple of stops.
First stop was to my mom’s house to drop off my car. I was still wearing my work shirt as I had planned to go into work immediately after my doctor’s visit. A quick hi and bye and we were off to our next visit.
A normal labor session can last from 2 -24hrs. During this time they do not allow you an ounce of food. Our next stop was through a Burger King drive thru to scarf down our last meal. From here on out we would be known as Kaia’s parents. As this makes me proud, I didn’t want it to come on an empty stomach!
Once we got checked in, we began to wait. Throughout the day we had a host of visitors. My brother showed up out of nowhere to bring flowers and a balloon. Mandi’s parents and best friends were there too. My mom came later to add comic relief along with old wives tales of how she used to deliver babies in England without “ Wit all dese fancy dancy ting dem”.
The sound of the Kaia’s heartbeat was constantly pulsating through the rooms chatter. The South Seminole Hospital suite offered a plenty of room and chairs to spread out. They do a very good job of making the patient and family feel very comfortable through this extremely stressful time. We were bunkered down with iphones, cameras, laptops and every peace of technology to usher Kaia into this world. This experienced was going to be captured and remembered not just digitally, but in the fibers of my mind.
As Mandi and I walked the halls of the 4th floor, I took in every smell and every taste I could. I paused to watch the sunset. In my mind, I knew the next time I saw my old friend the sun, it would be through the eyes of a father, and not of a child. The rush of emotions could only be expressed by the ear to ear grin on my face. My happiness and enthusiasm were not always well received when you are going through labor. This I learned very quickly.
The clock grew closer to 8 pm and we had been officially in labor for 9 hours. Mandi was being a trooper, but the overwhelming pain of the contractions had started to get to her. She needed the epidural and she needed it fast. Her winches and grip on my hand had grown increasing tighter as each contraction pulled her cervix further open. As the doctors arrived to implant the epidural needle, I held Mandi’s hand again. Although this procedure is used to ease the pain of childbirth, to me it only seemed to increase her discomfort. Over the next hour, the technicians would come back numerous times to adjust her implant. This was extremely frustrating but we it was 10 pm and we were looking to have this baby before the 9/11 date.
I was in the no mans land. Waiting for Kaia to get here with excitement, but suffering to see the person you love the most go through torturous pain to achieve that. All the while I am just a bystander in the production. With all of my abilities in the world, I could offer no assistance other than a kind word and a kiss on the forehead. I now felt the pain of that lonely alligator from our pond. My hands tied by fate and I could only wait for the mercy of the angels to release me. Kaia was taking her sweet time as God wanted to take a few extra moments in perfecting her
At 10:45pm we began the pitocin drip. I ran downstairs to the car to grab the baby bag that Mandi had been asking me about all day. I figured this was my last chance to get it before it was showtime. Mandi’s contractions were getting stronger and much more painful. Upsetting her was not an option, so if it was the baby bag she wanted; it was the baby bag she was going to get. On my way back to the room I saw our mid-wife Donna making her way alongside me. She asked if I was ready for this. I nodded with a smile. “ It’s Go Time!!” I answered.
Mandi is an amazing woman. Though she had birthed 3 children previously, this was a new environment and a new setting for her. Her normal coach was not there, and it is not her ex-husband at her side, but a guy she first met in 6th grade. Our love story is one for anther day and anther time, but the long short of it is this. Together, we made a child through love. It would take more than love though to bring her to life.
As I took my place next to Mandi in the room, she was 9 cm dilated and it was time to push. The room quickly cleared and Mandi was flanked by her best friend Melanie and me on the other side ( above the equator). Mandi’s Mother was close by encouraging her too as Donna began the delivery procedure.
With a few pushes I looked down and could see the head of our little girl began to emerge. Clutching Mandi’s hand and wiping away her tears, I continued to feel helpless the bitter-sweetness of the moment overwhelmed me. Tears began rolling down my face as I now knew the awesome wonder of God. Like never before, something from a simple smile in sixth grade brought to life a beautiful little girl. As Mandi made her final push, Kaia took her first breath. In that moment my heart was torn between my love for Mandi and my love for Kaia. I wanted to clutch our new baby shout on top of the highest mountain, but I also wanted to wipe the tears away from the person who had pushed herself beyond what I thought humanly possible. Again my arms were tied and short than ever. I was a squirrel in the middle of the road not knowing which side to go to?
As the medical tended to Kaia and got her cleaned up I focus my attention on Mandi. She was exhausted, but alert. I kissed her and thanked her with tears in my eyes. I quickly cut the umbilical cord and Kaia was ours. In a matter of moments we went from pure pain to pure joy. Kaia quickly latched on to Mandi’s breast and began feeding on colustrum. We were finally a family.
Through this birth it has made my faith stronger than ever before. I would love to take credit for any of this, but to God be the glory. At the point that I realized all of my abilities deemed useless against God’s will. Each child is perfect. Hand crafted by God and placed here for a reason. I do not know God’s complete plan for Kaia, but it is better for me to have my arms tied up, and let him do the guiding from here on out.
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