Grandma Rules

The “King” women in my life are hilarious.  Little Ms. Kaia has finally recognized what it means when I say no, ironically, my mother has not.  There is an old Jamaican proverb that says, “Once a parent, twice a child”.  This basically means that a child will grow into an adult and take care of their parents like children.  It is a take from the Great Sphinx riddle in Oedipus Rex, “What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 at noon, and 3 at night?”.  My mother is slowly beginning to grow her third leg, but she is not going out without a fight.

Today’s revelation came to me via bottle feeding time.  Last night I was in a pre dawn wrestling match with Kaia as I stayed over at my moms.  I finally relented and got up to make a bottle.  As I struggled around her kitchen, I was only able to locate a couple of bottle sets.  Unfortunately my mother had taken the time to do some plastic surgery on the nipples of these bottles so that they had large holes at the top.  Despite numerous requests for her not to do this, my mother continues to make these holes so that the feeling process goes faster.  To make matters worse, she mixes any and every type of cereal, oatmeal, or whatever thick substance she can squeeze through these newly remodeled bottles…

As a parent you think you would have control over your own child.  The choices that are made should be held after your direction.  This changes when you have a grandparent step into the fray.  Very few bible commands come with a promise.  The one that does is this:

     
"Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD” -  Exodus 20:12(NLT)

I’m caught in the ultimate catch 22 here.  Cant disobey my mom even if she is disobeying me…  Nevertheless, it is clear to see that no harm has come to Kaia via Grandma’s care and I am truly grateful that Kaia gets to spend these first few years with her grandma.  I am sure in a small way this is payback for all the times I gave my mom grief…  It just is going to give me that much more pleasure one day being a grandpa!!

Grandma's Time

I have a nephew Isaac who shares a striking resemblance to my late father.  If you could go back in time 13 years ago, my dad use to watch him for my sister just like my mom is watching Kaia now for me.  It is quite a special site to see him growing up into become a young man.  Yet still, he carries so many mannerism of my dad, it’s hard not to believe that a small part of him was passed into Isaac before he passed.  

Tonight while playing with Kaia, I saw traits of my mom rubbing off on her.  I am so thankful that my mom gets to spend 5 days a week with her.  My mom is 73 yrs old and although in fairly good health, nothing is promised to us at anytime.  It is my mom’s wish to just walk with her into kindergarten, I would like to push that date back to walking down the aisle.  Nevertheless, Kaia knows and loves her grandma already.  Seeing the two of them together gives me a joy that is unexplainable but to say it is divine.  I am so thankful that I have at least one parent to share this joy with.  Hopefully, it will be for many more years to come.

Mental Framework

A room at Mandi’s house is filled with pictures that her dad has taken throughout the years.  These photos capture the natural beauty of America while highlighting some of his most memorable trips he has taken.  As I looked at each of the frames, I became envious of his ability to capture such breathtaking photos and have them as keepsakes for his mini gallery.  At the end of one wall he had photos of all of his grandchildren including Kaia.  His care in taking these photos is the same as his other scenic pics that line the wall.  There is something special about being able to capture a moment and relive it through a photograph.

I got to work from home today and spend the day with Ms. Kaia.  I cherish these moments as I get the best of both worlds in spending an entire day alone with my daughter while earning a living at the same time.  I am truly blessed to have that opportunity and do not take it for granted in the least.  Throughout the day I began taking mental snapshots of Kaia.  Her smile (3 teeth and counting) lights up a special place in my heart.  I scrolled through my phone to see pics of her just being born and compared them to the little lady I have walking around my house…  Simply amazing in the way she has grown in such a short time. 

With her three little teeth, Kaia likes to bite me whenever we wrestle.  As funny as that is, it serves a purpose in reminding me that this is not a dream and time is flying by, no pinching needed.  I enjoy each moment I spend with her and am so thankful she has been entrusted to be my daughter.  As I carry around these mental photos of her, I know the walls in my mind are beginning to fill up with these priceless images.  I pray I never forget these moments.

No Laughing Matter

I think I hurt Kaia’s feelings for the first time today.   This morning while getting ready for work, we started watching her “Your Baby Can Read” video.  AS her favorite song came on, her eyes lit up and a smile emerge to dance along to “ Head, Shoulders, Knees, & Toes”.  As the intro music came on Kaia position her body next to the TV in preparation of the moves.  I accompanied her as the music started. 

Kaia is just learning to walk.  Her balance is not 100% as she is very tall for her age.  At 11 months old, her mobility and motor skills are consistent with most babies her age.  My goal was to provide a visual aid for her to follow along with the TV.  As the music started, Kaia put her hands on her head.  As she worked her way down her shoulders and to her knees, Sir Isaac Newton’s law got the best of her and she toppled over.  I look over at my mother and proceeded to laugh as it was the cutest thing we ever saw.  Kaia was not laughing. 

As a kid they always teach you the difference between laughing at someone and laughing with someone.  Unfortunately, we were laughing at Kaia and not with her.  What makes it worse is that I think she knew this and crawled away disappointed in her effort.  Ouch… Bad Daddy….  The last thing I ever wanted to do was make her feel bad.  I quickly grabbed her and restarted the song.

We went through the song and motions 3 times.  Each time we hit the knees, Kaia would be on the ground.  This time around, daddy was there to help her up.  Although I won’t always be there when she falls, I will always be there for her… regardless of the situation, I want her to always know that Daddy is going to be there help her up with whatever she goes through in life.  That’s… No Laughing Matter!!      

The Plan

You never forget your first…  Although, I have no idea what my first birthday was like?  I wonder if Kaia will remember hers.  Today I was able to finally secure the venue for Kaia first birthday party.  Last week Mandi and I sat down and made a list of prospective guest, food, snacks, games, and toys.  We settled somewhere in the ballpark of 120 potential guest!!  Hopefully we will be able to whittle that number down to about 30 – 40.

The planning part is the most time consuming.  Once the day arrives, I think it will be smooth sailing but putting it all together, getting the list out, and ordering enough cupcakes for everyone will be the challenge.  With all the planning and hoopla I hope it doesn’t take away from the reason we are all there. 

On Friday September 10^th 2010 at 11:32 pm, Kaia Grace King took her first breath on earth. She had been alive and kicking for 9 months prior, but that moment was the first time she passed into our world.  Life is such a beautiful thing.  The ability to create one is reason enough to celebrate.  As I first laid teary eyes on Kaia, I have not been able to stop smiling.  As she has grown immensely in the past 11 months, those first moments with her are memories the will be etched in my mind for an eternity. 

It easy to get caught up in the birthday plans.  Just like Christmas though, it is most important to remember the reason for the season.  This First birthday and all those to follow will be about the wonderful gift that was delivered to the world late one Friday evening.  And this, is a reason to celebrate!!

The Stairs

Stairs are things that always lead you somewhere.  In theory, you are either ascending or descending to a different place than you previously were.  Kaia loves climbing the steps.  It is a skill that her older brother Austin taught her some months ago that she has now perfected into a little game.  With each day that passes, she gets bolder and bolder in her attempts to conquer the 14 steps in our house.  At first my heart would pound as she manipulated her body onto each step.  I was scolded ( and rightfully so) for not letting her try.  Now it is a daily challenge for her to make it all the way to the top without any help.  What I didn’t realize then, that I do know now is this… 

 To me I see the steps as a hazard, a potential accident waiting to happen.  Being the over protective parent hat I am, it is important for me to recognize that there are certain risk are going to taken from time to time in order for growth to occur.  For what ever reason she has chosen, Kaia finds it interesting to climb to the top of the steps.  With each step she conquers, she looks back at me at the bottom with a smile saying, “Look daddy, I can do it”.  I hope she never loses that spirit, I hope she has that drive her entire life to prove me wrong in the shadow of my fear.

Their have been times in my life when I have step out in faith and against the wishes of those around me.  My mother never wanted me to go to Kansas as she thought it was so far away.  As I stood on the drum major podium directing the band in Lawrence, I smiled at her.  I am sure she felt the same way then as I do now at the bottom of the steps.  No words were spoken, but the conversation was the same.

If I told you that Kaia is an expert stair climber now you might report me to DCF… please know that I am never more than a couple steps behind her, but at 11 months, I can honestly say my fear of the stairs is gone… in retrospect… I was the only one who had a fear to begin with.  Needless to say, I am starting to recognize how special a child I have been blessed with, it would seem the one who is going to need help up and down the stairs of life with her, is me.