Potty Break

I did not realize the difficulty in raising a child by yourself.  Especially a curious little girl.  Kaia is becoming more and more attached to me with every day we are together.  As much as I love this, I realize now, the difficulty of being a single parent.  For me, it’s not the cost of childcare or buying the necessary childhood items it’s not the changing of diapers or sleepiness’ nights.  For me, the hardest transition item has been finding time to use the bathroom alone.

From the time I get home from work, Kaia is constantly around me… She never lets me get too far away without coming behind me to see what I am doing.  This usually turns into a game of hide and go seek between us, but every now and then nature calls me away to take core of my duties.  (I must interject in this post and inform you that none of the interior door locks work on my condo.  I did not install them, but whoever did, did so incorrectly that enventhough the knob is in the locked positions, the door can be opened.)  Needless to say, Kaia has found out the little tidbit of information and is using this to her advantage. 

As Kaia is growing, she is now tall enough to grab every door handle in the house.  To her it is a game to go around opening and closing doors, as though the countless toys she has were not entertaining enough the opening and closing of doors is the highest level of amusement available.  To my dismay, Going into the bathroom and locking the door behind you provides no sanctuary with a tall 13 month year old in the house.  Whether sitting or stand, she waste no time in reaching her tiny paws on the polished aluminum handle. Her tippy toes, she pushes the door open to hear a stark shriek from her dad as I am at my most venerable position.  A laugh comes from her small 28’ frame as she catches me literally with my pants down.  I quickly flush the remnants down the drain as she begins handing me toilet paper one piece at a time. 

I am not sure how to do this yet.  My strategy now is to set up Kaia with a fresh new bottle and a blues clues video.  This captures her attention for all of 30 seconds as I make my great escape out the room and to the lavatory.  As I begin my business, I can see the door knob slowly turning like the beginning of a gory scene in a zombie movie…Once she gets in the door, Kaia laughs as I position and contort my body as to maintain some level of modesty.  

One fine day we will both look back at these moments and laugh.  For now though, its one of those things that only parent’s will understand.   

Change in Heart

Kaia does this funny thing where she backs up into me when she wants to snuggle.  No matter where I am on the couch or floor, she always needs to be near me.  I love it.  The past week of having Kaia has been an absolute joy.  I imagine its hard for some to believe that a man would enjoy being alone wiwth his daughter for an entire week and weekend, but I would not trade a single moment in for the world.  Its funny how my friends know now not to text me when I have Kaia because the answer will be no.  I still like to have fun, but I have the most fun hanging out with a 13 month old little girl who is sillier than I am.  Kaia’s new favorite thing to do is to stand behind me on the couch and smack my vald head unitl I turn around.  She then ducks down to hide, all the time she is laughing as hard as she can.  No greater joy. 

A friend of mine asked me what do I do now that I have Kaia for so many more days than before.  I replied the normal stuff.  Other than racing around the house, we go to the park( she is still not a fan of the swings), go shopping, read books… Just the normal father / daughter stuff.  I still watch football on Sundays; I just have a little girl curled up next to me on the couch.  I wouldn’t want it any other way…

Its sometimes hard for me to believe that it was just over a year ago, I was the life of the party.  Now the best part of my life is barely past my knees.  I hate to be cliché and one of those parents who completely lose their identity in their kids.  I am still crazy ol Oliver who loves a stiff cocktail, I just now enjoys those every other weekend when I don’t have Kaia… in between doing her laundry and cutting on coupons for diapers.

I just don’t get how some people can be “dead beat “parents.  I find no greater joy than watching Kaia laugh.  It touches a place in my heart I never knew existed until now, the scary thing is that each day, that joy and love grows deeper and deeper as she becomes more of “Daddy’s Girl”.    I unfortunately know that I am setting myself up for disaster once she turns 13 and I become a dinosaur, but it is my hope that she remembers all the Sunday trips to the park, and all the Sunday afternoon ice creams runs.  I hope she know that for the rest of my life, no single thing will ever make my heart skip a beat, like a smile from her…. Even if she still only has 4 teeth!

Time to Let Go

Its only the beginning.  Tomorrow Kaia is starting off with a new babysitter.  This is not her first time that she will be staying with someone new, but this is the first time that I have to pack and make a schedule for her.  It is a little nerve racking as I have 9 outfits laid out on the bed for the week along with an extra set of onesies for each day she will be away.  Thankfully Grandma Lucy is an experienced pro at this and I truly have nothing to fear.  The biggest problem is going to be me letting go of this little girl for the first time on my own.  Over the past couple weeks we have grown closer and closer as more of her personality is starting to come out.  

The past 3 months have been the most trying and exciting times for me as I am making the adjustments into being a single parent.  Kaia has not been phased by the transition as she is becoming more and more independent. We have been fortunate enough  to have my mom watch Kaia on a daily basis and up until this week it has never been an issue.  As I knew this two week period was coming, I did not know that I would be this nervous as a parent. Leaving your child in the care of another person is never an easy thing to do, I still cant put her in the nursery at Church on Sunday.   I love the Guiets family and she will be in the best hands possible to watch her, but still there is some anxiety for tomorrow.  In making a schedule for Kaia, I didn’t realize how much work goes into a day of watching an infant.  Especially when that infant that has a motor that does not stop until its nap time.  I am not sure if I am nervous for Kaia as much as I am nervous for Ms. Guiets trying to keep up with her.  Nevertheless tomorrow morning will be a learning experience for all parties involved.  Hopefully I will be able to keep it together.    

Dancey Dance Time

I am sad to report that Kaia is infatuated with Yo Gabba Gabba.  At first I truly thought that this was the most ridiculous show on television (which it is), but I have grown to like the quirky little show that gets kids moving and listening to music at a young age.  Plus who can beat the guest appearances from so many famous people.  The show is infectious with their colorful segments and extremely corny but tasteful songs.  As the opening credits begin to roll, Kaia gets a huge smile on her face and makes her way in front of the TV for a time of dancing.  With Biz Markie providing the beats, her Yo Gabba Gabba adventures begin.  With each segment her eyes are fixated on the fast moving colors and her ears are in tune with the various musical styles played throughout the show.  This is a nice change of pace from her daily routine of “your baby can read” video’s and provides a comical relief for dad too.

Little does Kaia know that daddy is currently working on his DJ Lance Rock costume for Halloween and will surprise her with a Foofa costume of her own!! 

Birds of a Feather

Growing up I always heard the saying “Birds of a Feather Flock Together” from my parents.  I didn’t know if this was another old Jamaican saying that made no sense, but they learned from their parents, so they just said it to me…  It turns out that this is a solid piece of wisdom that they instilled in me as to always be careful of the company you keep.  It is true the birds will only migrate with other birds of the same species.  I now see that more than ever that I was very fortunate to surround myself with a great group of kids growing up who have turned into my best friends in life.  I am truly blessed to have birds of the same feather in my life.  My parents provided me a golden nugget of information that has shaped the course of my life.

This morning Kaia only made it halfway through the church service before she got restless and we retreated to the family room.  I have always been blamed for being over protective as a parent.  Once we got into a room filled with other toddlers Kaia’s age, those instincts were put to the test.  At first Kaia stuck close to me.  I am noticing it is her nature to be apprehensive of new of new situations and she tends to get clingy until her normal comfort level is reached.  After the first few minutes she began to meander closer and closer to the other children playing in the room.

 As a parent I was happy to see her embrace the social setting, but I am always apprehensive to the children she may gravitate towards.  I know its way to early to begin to pass judgment and place infants into social and economic categories’… I know… I get it… But… And this is a huge but…  can already tell certain character traits of Kaia by spending extended periods of one on one time with her.  She is extremely helpful and inquisitive.  She does not like to be alone but is adventurous at the same time.  She loves to laugh and is playful.  Her love language will be a mix between physical touch and quality time.  Kaia has a ton of personality for a 13 month old child and it is growing every day.  

Turning her loose to be influenced or mingled with other children is a scary thing for me as a parent.  I will probably need to seek professional help at some point as I am freaked out by toddlers at a church… I can’t imagine when she wants to go to the movies at age 13…

My hope is that as Kaia grows, she surrounds herself with children who have the same value system that I will try to instill in her.   It is never an exact science, but it is always better to be in a group of people headed in the right direction than ones who bring you down.  It is my prayer that Kaia heads the words of her father and grandmother so that she will make the right decisions later in life.  For now, I just need to relax and let kids be kids…           

An Introduction

Kaia’s chair is just high enough that it reaches the keyboard at my house.  By removing the table section of the chair, it slides up enough for her to press on the keys.  After dinner one night I decided to introduce her formally to the keyboard.  She is a big fan of music and loves to sing to whatever song is playing on the radio.  It is hard to gage if she will have the same passion I have for music, but it is my only hope that she at least has an appreciation for the art form that has brought so much joy into my life.

As I started to play a simple chord progression of 1 -4-5-1, she cared nothing for my tutorial and went straight for the colorful buttons.  The start button cued “Twinkle Twinkle” and she began to pound away improvising on top.  This was not Mozart.  I laughed as began hitting more buttons and switching from piano to the drums presets and back to piano.  With no cares for harmonies or melodies, she was creating her own symphony to the tune of twinkle twinkle.  I couldn’t help but laugh, at age three or four there will be plenty of time for instruction.  On this first introduction though, I hope it will be the start of a loving relationship that will last a lifetime.

An Apology

One day you will ask me the question “Why… ?”  My explanations will never suffice the void that is left in your heart.  For all the times that I wasn’t there… For all the times that I couldn’t wipe away those tears… I apologize.